Monday, September 29, 2008

"When Cornered, You Become Increasingly Adorable"

I must say, Tina Fey is better at being Sara Palin than anyone, including Sara Palin herself...






-Noface

Thursday, September 25, 2008

America First...NOT!!

John McCain announced that he was going to suspend his campaign, because of the economic crisis that this nation is facing. I'll say it again; McCain is suspending his campaign because there is an economic crisis that has been going on for quite some time now!! Do you know what all this really means? It means that McCain will be unavailable to join Obama at the debate on Friday, because he is "putting America first". Do you know what that really means? It means that the excrement has hit the fan for the McCain campaign, and they are using their last timeout.

McCain is not in any particular position to really do anything productive in Washington right now as far as the economic crisis is concerned. Let's call a spade a spade, this is a political ploy and though in times past this might have worked, I don't think that this is going to go well with the American People (I have been surprised by my fellow Americans before though). We shall see folks...we shall see!

But you know who really suffers? That's Right, David Letterman and one thing you must know about Letterman...he doesn't like to suffer alone....



In other news, Palin gets owned again in another interview. This time Katie Couric is the one to hand Hockey Mom Barbie's arse to her. So that makes her 0-2 as far as interviews go (the interview with Hannity clearly does not count because Fox News is as legitimate a news source as the Daily Show, only a lot less funny).

Observe the ownage...




"I'll try to find you some and I'll bring 'em to ya." She actually said that! WOW!

-Noface

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I Don't Care How Big of a Star You Are...NO...IT IS NOT OK!!

I am very upset with this dude right here! This dude, born Robert Kelly, but likes to run around calling himself the Pied Piper (Freudian slip?), is…is…I don’t know man. I guess I should be clear where I stand on this whole “him having relations with under aged girls” issue. It is my humble opinion that Mr. Kelly has a serious problem and that he needs to find help. Everyone knows what’s really up with this guy, despite his many denials. The dude is a severely flawed individual. I mean the video below says it all…






"...What do you mean by teenage girls?" Waitwhu'?? What do you mean by teenage girls!!?? Is this dude f'real??? It was at that point in the interview that I became really angry (which is uncharacteristic for me). But, even then when Mr. Kelly said, "Don't listen to the people who have been fired...don't even listen to the people that were hired..." I had to chuckle a little bit at the shear ridiculousness of that statement.

-Noface

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Poetry Session #1

During one of my routine treks through the viral infested jungles of YouTube, I came across this gem of Spoken Word, spoken and heard (you like that don't you!?) from and "urban" teen to other "urban" teens, respectively.



I must say that I was profoundly impressed and inspired to sit down and spill out a little of my self to be critiqued by...no one (seeing that I don't have any subscribers yet).


STATE OF MIND

I say I’m black because of my state of mind
A state of paranoia that makes me stay with kind (mine)
You always say you’re blind, to color
Every time I hear that line, I say, “Oh brother…this mutha--“
You see, I see color, texture and tone with twenty-twenty
In my sight is the white of the lint within pockets empty
I see green on the leaves and in the weaves of money
Which don’t grow on trees, indeed it seems funny
Still I need money to make my world go round
But the world sees only black and white, and I’m brown
See that’s my color and there are others like pink, peach and tan
Like the highest yellow to a hue that seems the darkest blue (damn)
Man, when it comes to skin tone it’s well known that from dark to light
Shades of brown can be found, but there is no black or white
Because white, is the absence of and black, the fullness of
And understand that the race of man can claim none of the above
So where’s the love, which covers a multitude of sins?
Please excuse, but screw the few, when is the multitude gonna win?
Look at my skin, then look within and see the Negro in me
The brother in he and the sister in she, African-American are we (?)
If you look clearly enough and deep enough, I think you’ll find
Black is not a color, it’s a state of mind
Found in the cognitive bent of the Talented Tenth
And seething within the underachieving (?) ninety percent
That constant pressure that tells us we can’t measure up to the hype
So some fall back to what we call black, forever stereotyped
While others break the mold and take a hold of that promise
Saying, “Forget what you’re told and what you know, because I’m this!”
Their faith, education, determination, and wits are their entourage
That was with them from the stoop to the house with a two car garage
That brother whose mind is stronger than his swagger
With that black mentality so sharp, he can spit daggers
He’s not a braggart, because his success is his hype man
Demanding his rights by taking the fight to the “white” man,
He’s not the thuggish type, but black means he can take it to the streets
Yet the truth is he’s from the burbs so he tries to stay discreet
And keep his head down with feet pumping at an above average pace
But black is what puts him in his place, not the color of his face
Which, is such a waste of personality, talent and skills
Because white only sees him as a token space to fill
And he’s an Oreo to the around the way brothers, you know, the others
But damn, calm down brothers because that brown brother
Can’t act black, since black is not an act, it’s a state of mind
And the notion so untrue that one’s hue is black, is so unkind
It sets us all back, further than those shows with Flava Flave
Or being Bobby Brown, TV clowns representing how black behaves
Oh behave, that’s not black because black is beautiful and proud
We’re just dark and lovely, swift and slow, quiet and loud
Reaching as high as the clouds and beyond the stars
And in this life no matter where we go, we know exactly who we are
Near or far, search the earth, uncover every secret place
Inquire the face of the nations and examine every race
Especially in the United States, because in the end you’ll find
That Black is not a color, black is a state of mind


Wow! I haven't written poetry for so long that I have forgotten how fun it is to turn expressions, emotions, and thoughts into beautifully arranged words.

-Noface

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Hi, My name is Noface and I'm a Politicaholic!

I swear that politics is like the new crack for a lot of people out there. This election season has brought out a level of excitement and passion that American Politics has not witnessed in...well...ever. For Democrats the future lies with Jesu--I mean Obama, while the Repubs are touting Tina Fey--I mean Sarah Palin, as the second coming of Hilary Clinton (George Bush is more like it). We're all out there looking for the next bit of positive news about our candidate while scouring YouTube and our favorite blogs for the new dirt on the other side's candidate. Folks who never even voted on American Idol are out there in the real world, on news sites, blogosphere, and other parts of the interwebs ( yes, I made that word up), are going around like fiends looking for their next political fix. People want to find out as much as they can. As an addict myself, I must say that this level of involvement is not necessarily a bad thing.

All you new junkies out there have to be careful though (take it from someone whose been on this stuff for at least 10 years), as with all addictive substances, you could overdose on politics. The results are not pretty, indeed they can be down right sad (P.U.M.A anyone?). "But Mr. Noface, how do I know when I've OD'd on Politics?" You don't smart guy! Addicts are never able to appreciate when they've had too much. Your friends however, will be able to tell if you've gotten too crazy with the Oddballs in the Situation Room while shooting up pure AC 360 (that's some potent stuff), by looking out for the following symptoms...

1) Irrational Hero Worship!
(As far the world knows, Obama can not heal the sick, give sight to the blind, make the lame walk, the dumb speak, or raise himself from the dead three days after being crucified)
(Hockey Moms are not the next stage in human evolution, hell if you are a hockey mom, you probably don't even believe in evolution)

2) Irrational Excuses Made In Light of Your Candidate's Shortcomings!
(A bunch of well written and delivered speeches will not add one iota of experience to Obama's resume)
(Mavericks do not tow the party line 90% of the time)
(If someone is running for President or VP, he or she had better know what the hell the Bush Doctrine is, so don't get mad at the interviewer just because he caught your girl slipping)

3) Feeling Like Someone on Your Side Got a Raw Deal So Voting for the Opposition is the Only Remedy!
(I'm sorry but that is retarded)

4) Talks of Succeeding From the Union Should the Other Side Win!
(C'mon, you didn't do it in 2000, you punked out in '04, and you're not going to do it this time either)

5) Talks of Leaving the Country Should the Other Side Win!
(see #4)

6) Claiming that Relating to the Candidates is More Important Than Issues!
(If you exhibit this symptom, you should be smacked)
(The President shouldn't be a Regular Joe like you or m--well, just you. He should be a cut above!)

7) Going to the Pushers at Fox News to Get a Hit of Their Inferior Product Just to Keep the Monkey Off Your Back!
(this right here, is rock bottom)

If you exhibit any one of or a combination of these symptoms, your friends should abduct you, send you off to a secluded place, cut you off from all forms of communication that could get you in contact with anything political, and keep constant watch over you as you sweat and convulse, while that politico-high leaves your system.

That being said enjoy these videos while you detox....









-Noface